Oh My God He’s Purple

One would think I would have extrapolated from yesterday’s lesson not to leave a curious toddler near food coloring to include not leaving a curious toddler near finger paint, but no. In an attempt to keep C occupied while I tried to nurse A and eat some lunch I pulled out the finger paints and strapped him into the booster chair at the kitchen table. C was happily swishing away on the paper, I was happily wolfing down a sandwich, and A was happily gulping down her milk. All was quiet; all was good. Upon finishing her gulping, A decided that NOW would be a good time for a nap. I quickly race up the stairs, gallop through the lullaby and unceremoniously dump her into her crib.

As I trot back downstairs I hear a squeal and a “Look Mommy!” from the kitchen. As I round the corner, all I see is a purple arm and torso (Did I mention he was naked??? Totally naked). Dumb. Dumb. I am dumb. At least this time it was water-soluble paint. And at least I did learn the second part of my lesson; many pictures were taken for posterity before the scrubbing began.

And I Bought a Halloween Costume Because…

The Halloween hype began weeks in advance this year. “I be doctor for Halloween” reverberated through the house on an hourly basis. The costume was purchased several weeks ahead, C wore it many times to “practice,” and not one but two orange plastic pumpkins had been procured to hold the candy loot. Last night we talked for eons before bed about how tomorrow was the party at Michael’s house and how C was going to wear his costume and Michael would wear his costume and fun would be had by all.

Bright and early the next morning we all rise for the 9:30am party, and I race into C’s room with costume in hand gleefully singing “time to get dressed for the party! You get to wear your costume today!” “No.” “What do you mean ‘no.’ You’ve been waiting for this all week.” “No. Me no be doctor.” After several minutes of discussion, I finally give up and figure, well, after breakfast. It’s hard to get dressed up on an empty tummy. Breakfast is served, and the costume once again presented. “No. Me no wear costume.” I wheedle, “Michael will be in his costume, he’s going to be a firefighter.” “No. No no no.” Sensing a quickly approaching melt down and after a hurried phone call to B for consensus that I shouldn’t insist on the costume, on go the sweats and the costume goes into a bag in hopes that upon arriving at the party it will be needed.

As we pull up to Michael’s house, Michael’s daddy heads out to help us unload and starts laughing. “You two are screwed. Michael wouldn’t put his costume on either and she’s been coaxing him with “But C will have his on.” Dejected, I haul C and A into the house. Michael and C descend upon each other with glee screaming “See, I TOLD you so mommy. No costume.”

Maybe on Sunday?

Oh My God He’s Green

I tried to introduce C to the joys of baking today by making Halloween cupcakes for the party tomorrow. As I was trying my best to mix the red and yellow food coloring to make a pumpkin-like orange colored frosting and simultaneously talk on the phone trying to coordinate the board meeting that was happening Monday, my attention wandered for a moment and when I turned back to him he had grabbed the green food coloring bottle and squirted it all over his hands and face. “Oh my God he’s green” I screeched into the phone and abruptly hung up. Thank god it was another mommy who, while a bit confused, figured I would eventually call back to explain.

In my haste to try to stop the dye from setting (all be it too late…) I whisked him into the shower and began to scrub without taking pictures. By the time I realized it would be a hysterical addition to the photo album when I recovered from the shock, it was too late and he was just a pale green instead of the hulk-green color of a half hour ago.

Two lessons learned: never leave a curious toddler near food coloring, and unless grave danger is apparent, a picture is worth a thousand words…