Crash. Bang, Sputter

Yet another excuse for not blogging…we were rear ended yesterday by a huge delivery truck. At first blush the car seemed OK except for some dents, and the kids were fine but distressed because their pretzels fell to the floor. But when I went to start my car this morning…sputter. Dead, dead, dead. I can only assume the two events are related, although I can’t begin to fathom how. M is speculating that the gas tank got punctured, yippee!

Anyway, long story sort, I have been spending the better part of the day dealing with insurance companies, towing companies, and garages.

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Some bonus conversations for you:

At preschool while I am frantically trying to get M’s car to start with no avail and swearing up a storm while frantically punching buttons on my cell phone to arrange for A to get picked up from school:

C: “Mommy, why are you using your key in Daddy’s car? I think that’s your problem.”

Mommy: “C, I love you. You are so smart. Thank you.”

C: “You’re welcome. You didn’t have your coffee this morning, did you?”

While singing to C at quiet time today:

C: “Mommy, Daddy’s voice is rougher than yours when he sings. And mine is softer. In fact mine is so soft that Mrs. K said she couldn’t hear me singing today. I have the softest voice ever.”

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Outdoor Blogging

I am sitting on my back stoop watching C dig for worms and A throw balls around the yard with abandon. The onset of spring-like weather has made us all much happier people, me in particular. I wish it could be like this all year round. I really, really don’t think I would miss the winter at all.

Anyway, I’m slowly catching up on things, blogging and laundry included. But right now I’m going to go teach C to play t-ball before quiet time.

Lessons Learned

Some lessons learned from the Spring Carnival:

When someone tells you that she needs ten pounds of paper cut into one inch strips, ask to see her math. Anyone need some strips of paper? It’s pretty…I’ll send it for free!

When cutting said strips of paper, a shredder works much better and faster than a dull pair of safety scissors.

Email is an underrated form of communication among mommies. It should really be used more frequently as, unlike the telephone, when using email others can’t hear your children screaming at the top of their lungs.

Preschool teachers are dreadfully underpaid and underappreciated.

There are mommies who pull through in a crunch. Make friends with these mommies. They will save your ass when you realize you don’t have enough plastic cups for the fourteen four year olds staring at you expecting juice. These same mommies will spend a Sunday night attaching fake bugs to fishing line, making hopscotch squares and creating elaborate rules to keep children occupied at a blowup pool. Some of them may even bring some wine.

Never underestimate the power of a Box of Joe to ensure that mommies who are not your carefully cultivated friends will claim that one is the best.spring.carnival.coordinator.ever.

Every preschool function needs an artsy craftsy mom in attendance. They have magical powers to fix many things using paper clips, tape, and Elmer’s Glue.

And perhaps the biggest lesson learned:

Annoying people don’t go away just because you take charge. They just get more annoying.

2:23 AM

A: (Hysterical) “Mommy! Mommy! Mommmmeeeeeeeee!”

Mommy: (Rushing to A’s bed as fast as she can): “A, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?”

A: (Sobbing) “I sit on potty. I sit on poteeeeee!”

Mommy: “You’re kidding me, right?”

A: “I sit on poteeeeee! Mommy, I peeeee.”

Mommy: (After briefly debating the consequences of ignoring the request) Sigh. “OK.”
Mommy troops A to the potty. A pees. Mommy troops A back to bed.

A: “Yeah! I did it! Nigh nigh Mommy.”

Mommy: “Night night A.

As if A really needed another reason to get up the middle of the night. This is a joke, right? A big, cosmic joke. I am no longer so pleased with A’s early interest in the potty.

More Spring Carnival Fun

I have nothing of import to say beyond:

NEVER EVER EVER CHAIR A SPRING CARNIVAL.

That’s my public service announcement for the century.

This is over Wednesday and hopefully I can return to my normal, lazy self. If I don’t make it over to visit anyone’s blog before then, please don’t be offended. Know that I would much rather be writing comments to all of you rather than cutting up construction paper. Yes, I am still cutting. Although I made the paper shredder my friend this afternoon. It may be my very best friend for the next few days.

It was meant to be

As I continue to cut paper into one inch strips….

Your True Love Is a Taurus

Why you’ll love a Taurus:

Romantic and sentimental, a Taurus can provide you with the security you need.
And you both share a fondness for the finest things, from great food to luxury vacations.

Why a Taurus will love you:

You have the honesty and direct approach that down to earth Taurus desires.
And enough elegance to show a Taurus a few new decadent delights!

M, it was clearly meant to be! Take the test, I dare you!

BTW, where is my luxury vacation????

Separation Anxiety

C: “Mommy, when I’m a grownup and I move away I will miss you very much.”

Mommy: “I’ll miss you very much too.”

C: “Will you come visit me and my kids?”

Mommy: “Of course I will.”

C: “Maybe when I grow up the kids in the house behind us will move and I can live right there. Then I won’t even need to call you to come get me so I can cross the street. I can just climb through the bushes.”

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

…don’t say anything at all. I’m giving this adage a whirl instead of subjecting y’all to whines about the stupid out of control Spring Carnival and yet another post on our sleep woes. I have much to say about the stupid out of control Spring Carnival and the seriousness with which parents are taking this event for children under the age of five, but it will have to wait until I finish cutting up 10 pounds of construction paper into one-inch pieces. I kid you not.

Overheard at bedtime

C: “Mommy, you know how I said I was going to listen to you when I turned four?”

Mommy: “Yes, I do.”

C: “Well, I think I made a mistake. I think I will listen to you when I turn five.”

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A: “Mommy?”

Mommy: “Yes A?”

A: “Danks.”

Mommy: “Thanks for what?”

A: “Danks for mommy.”

It totally made up for the 45 minute scream fest because I dared to put a protein source on her plate at dinner.

A Meme to pass the day

A meme to pass the day, versions of which have been seen at Just Another Day and Phantom Scribbler, among others…

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Lonesome Joan, Frank Oz and Jim Henson

I always suspected my real name was Joan….

Will I have a happy life?
Barcelona Nights, Ottmar Liebert

Does this mean I have to move to Spain? I took French, not Spanish.

What do my friends really think of me?
Swing on This, Alice in Chains

Hmmm.

Do people secretly lust after me?
There’s a Little Wheel a Turning in my Heart, Laurie Berkner

If only it wasn’t a children’s song.

How can I make myself happy?
Cross that River, Alan Harris

I guess that means we have to move back to NYC honey…

What should I do with my life?
Satellite, Dave Mathews Band

Perhaps I should have gone for the Astrophysics major after all.

What is some good advice for me?
Toad, Cream

I don’t even know what to do with that one. Look ugly? Gee, that’s fun. Grow a wart? Even funner.

How will I be remembered?
Popcorn Calling Me, Laurie Berkner

I do like popcorn….and what is up with my iPod and Laurie? Obviously I haven’t figured out how to get the kids songs out of my shuffle yet.

What is my signature dancing song?
Idiot Wind, Bob Dylan

Can one even dance to that???

What do I think my current theme song is?
I’m Sensitive, Jewel

Too true, too true.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Long Train Running, the Doobie Brothers

We DO spend a lot of time conversing about and playing with trains around here….

What song will play at my funeral?
Brown Derby Jump, Cherry Poppin’ Daddies

At least it is upbeat??

What type of men/women do I like?
Birds and Ships, Billy Bragg and Natalie Merchant

Well, M does come from a family of sailors. And my first serious boyfriend was a sailor too. Birds though? Not so into birds. Especially with the bird flu and all…

What is my day going to be like?
Never Too Late, Yanni

I guess that means I don’t have to worry about the fact that we were late (again) to preschool? I’ll have to tell the teachers that my iPod said it was OK on Wednesday.

What one thing could I not live without?
Pease Porridge Hot, Music Together

I do like my oatmeal in the morning.