The Ten Comandments of Vacation Bible Camp

  1. Thou shalt not touch (or hit, or pinch, or kick) thy neighbor, even if he started it.
  2. Thou shall write thy name on all thy art projects or risk receiving someone else’s Jesus Bear.
  3. Thou shall wait quietly, in line, for thy turn, even if thou feel like practicing thy handstands.
  4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors’ dinners, even if they are slow eaters.
  5. Thou shall listen to thy teacher, not thy neighbor.
  6. Thou shalt not bring thy own toys to camp and then use them as flying projectiles.
  7. Thou shall remember to collect thy confiscated toys at the end of camp.
  8. Thou shalt not tell thy parents that thy toys were ripped from thy hands by thy evil teacher for no reason, as thy teacher, who might have let the whole thing slide, will elaborate upon the circumstances for the confiscation.
  9. Thou shalt not bolt for the nearest exit, even if thy siblings are headed out to the playground.
  10. Thou shalt not try to climb on the pulpit.
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