Apple, Smapple

So when C arrived at his new elementary school for orientation last spring, they gave him an apple with his name on it. To wear the first day of school. You already see where this is going, don’t you. Right. To make a long story short, the apple, it is gone. And apparently, not only was I supposed to keep track of that apple for the summer, I was supposed to keep track of it for 12 FRICKING YEARS. Because C is supposed to wear it when he graduates from high school.

After a frantic phone call to Lovely Friend, who assured me that yes, the apple was VERY important, and then no, she was fairly confident that I was not the only parent who had lost the apple over the summer, I actually checked the back to school list sent out last week when we finally got C’s class assignment (mornings, at the school .51 miles from our house instead of the one 2+ miles, yeah!). On that list, a recent picture of your child.

You would think that would be an easy one, wouldn’t you. But, yet, to finish off my day of no apple, I was unable to locate my camera, and the last pictures I had of my kids that were actually downloaded onto the computer were from last December. When C had a buzz cut and A still had bangs. So I did what any self-respecting 35 year old does when faced with a crisis, I called my parents.

“Grandpa S! You’re home! Thank GOD! I need you to email me a current picture of the kids!”

“Umm, OK, why?”

“Because! I can’t find my camera, and I need to have a picture by tomorrow and I already don’t have the damn apple and I don’t want to be THAT parent.”

“You don’t have the apple?”

“It’s a long story, I just need pictures. Any pictures, I don’t care.”

And God bless my step-father, 20 minutes later pictures of my children arrived. But what I really want to know is, how many other 35 year olds had to call their parents the night before school started in order to complete the back-to-school assignments for their kindergarteners? I’m guessing not many.

I’m such an organizational disaster. And I so totally have to get on the apple making committee next year so I can make multiple copies of the apple. Because while I am not the most organized parent, I know how to work the system. And clearly the system calls for multiple copies of red wooden apples stashed all over the house for the next 12 years…

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