The country

Today the J-E family took a drive out to spend the day in the country. Which is, in reality, only about 20 miles away. The goal? A sheep farm. Because driving 20 miles to see random baby lambs is an awful lot better than making the seven hour trek to see Nana’s lambs. We got the kids hyped up, scouted out a place to have dinner (er, rather, Lovely Friend TOLD us where to have dinner, having taken a similar trek in the fall) and off we went.

The closer we got to “the country” the more M started waxing on about the joys of living “in the country” and the more I started to twitch. “You would hate it out here, really. Everyone knows everything about everyone else, and you freak out if the guy next door tells you it’s a nice day,” I explained to him.

“No, because I don’t CARE if everyone knows everything about me, I only care about having to talk to people, and in the country I won’t ever have to SEE them because we will have so much land!”

“Your commute will suck.”

“My commute sucks now, it will just add fifteen minutes onto the misery.”

“It is too far to Target.”

“And that’s a BAD thing???”

We eventually arrived at our destination, only to discover that the barn tours don’t start until next weekend. Cue tears and hysteria, and then calculated sighs and gestures towards the gift shop trinkets. “Well, if we can’t see the baby lambs, can we pick something out?” And so we walked out of there with two sets of kid chopsticks shaped like farm animals for the kids and a pound of sheep cheese for the grownup(s).

As our initial plan to tour the farm, have and early dinner and head home just in time for bed time had been cruelly destroyed by the decision on the part of the lovely farmer that April 12th was actually the beginning of spring, we quickly regrouped and decided to head to the dinner locale anyway for some appetizers to quiet the restless children.

After pulling up to the stone barn converted into award winning brewpub, M sighed again and announced to the ceiling that he had no idea why I had issues with the country because “Look! A brew pub!” Once in the pub C continued to play the part of a sullen teenager at the tender age of six and announced that it was “boring.” A refused to sit down because of some imaginary issue with the chair, and I broke my “no alcohol in the afternoon because I will be asleep long before the children” rule and ordered a rather lovely light beer in hopes it would mellow both my country-induced twitching and urge to throttle both kids.

We wolfed down some rather yummy nachos, forced two unwilling children to visit the bathrooms before the return journey back, and headed off to view some of the lovely old farms along our way. Except we rather quickly yet unintentionally found ourselves back on the same strip-mall infested highway that runs by our own home. Somewhat cheered by the fact that there was indeed easy access to Target, I began saying things like “Well, the country wouldn’t be SO bad, I mean we COULD have a lovely house and room for a garden.” Meanwhile M stared at the GPS and announced “We ARE rather far out, aren’t we? I’ve never been out this far. I don’t think this would be a great commute after all. No wonder the guys who live out here all take helicopters. Wait, could I get a helicopter?”

Since we were already on the strip mall-infested highway that runs by our house, and we actually had no idea where to find the lovely farm houses, we decided to head home. And thus ended our day in the country. Total elapsed time, two hours, 42 minutes.



  1. So did you have the Gristmill Golden or Hookerman Light Ale? The L.V. Pub is one of my fav’s and only 20 minutes from my house too!

  2. Don’t you just love it when everything goes exactly as planned? LOL

  3. oops! I guess you didn’t find out what kind of sheep they have.

  4. See, I always feel more adventurous when the weather is nice–so if things go to hell we just find a playground and pretend they didn’t. (Although admittedly yesterday was very nice.)

    If you get a helicopter, AM will probably insist on being adopted into your family. Consider yourselves warned.

  5. If you get a helicopter, you can fly to Nana’s farm to see the lambs in the spring!

  6. M sure sounds a lot like my Hubby. Hubby dreams of owning a farm… I am allergic to hay and horses and cows…. He also hates drafts but dreams of owning a century old house. So far so good, I have kept him in the city, or the suburbs, but I fear that one day my time will be up.

    Sorry the trip to the farm didn’t go as well as planned, but at least you have plans for next weekend!?

  7. I’d be lobbying to move back the city if I were you 🙂

  8. What a bummer that things didn’t work out… at least you got to go for a nice drive… Too funny how your views flip-flopped as the “adventure” wore on. Ease of accessibility to Target is a definite must!

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