It is hard

C’s best friend at school has left and is not returning. It is a long and involved story which I can’t really go into because it is not my story to share. But what is mine to share is the impact this story has had on my child. The weeks leading up to this have been fraught with defiance, and tears, and limit testing. A refusal to discuss anything involving school. Several phone calls from the school nurse about psycho-somatic illnesses. A request to see our pediatrician because of a constant tummy ache. Tears for no reason except “because I am sad and I can’t explain why.” A frantic flurry of emails to the private schools in the area assessing our ability to gain access for next year (answer: yeah, in your dreams).

More tears (this time mine). A lengthy conversation in the middle of the street (yes, I know, I just slammed a similar situation) with another mother that explained so much and made me realize how much I have failed to be my child’s advocate. Even more tears. A realization that it was too late to do anything about the current year and then a decision not to pull my child and homeschool with five weeks to go. A conversation left for another time about a homeschooling coop in lieu of a private school acceptance.

An email written and deleted to the principal. An email written and sent to the teacher. A realization that I can’t control everything that happens to my children. A fervent hope that I can provide the foundation my children need to deal with the situations out of my control. A snuggle and a promise to always love and always listen.



  1. Isn’t it hard not being able to protect our kids from the inevitable hurts in life? The promise to always love and always listen is the most important thing.

  2. It is hard that we can’t protect them for everything bad in the world.

  3. It’s tough to know that no matter how hard we try, and how much we do, we can’t control everything that happens to (or around) our kids. Big hugs to you. I hope that the situation is resolved and that C (and you!) is doing okay.

  4. Wow, clearly the situation escalated quite a bit between when we hung up at noon your time and the end of the day, huh? Here’s hoping that now that there are no longer any unanswered questions lingering, it will be possible to move on. Poor C…

  5. As I said, problems at school show up at home and problems at home show up at school.

  6. Poor C, and you too. I remember when I came home from school one day to find my best friend had moved that day. My mom had to tell me, and there was no goodbye at all. The comfort of my Mother’s arms that day were the best thing ever.

    I know it is not easy, but things have a way of working out in the end. Thoughts are with you.

  7. Oy, this sounds rough. Hugs to everyone.

    I also feel like I haven’t been my child’s best advocate at school this year, but she seems to be ok for now–so I am just counting the days until it’s over.

  8. What a hard situation all around–hugs and love to all of you as you figure out what to do now, and what to do later.

  9. My heart goes out to you and C. We can try so hard, but sometimes we just can’t control everything for our kids. I watch mine at school and I can already see things that could happen that I would love to shield him from but unless I homeschool he will encounter these things no matter where he goes. Big Hugs.

  10. It’s so hard to have our children go off to school – so much of their life is unknown to us, and it’s hard to figure out what serious when problems arise. (((HUGS))) to all of you.

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