The First Morning of My (New) Life

6am: Wake up. Look at clock. Ah, can sleep another hour. Life is good. Have finally reached the stage where the children don’t wake up at the crack of dawn.

6:20am: Why do I feel like someone is looking at me? Argh! Why are you here? And dressed? With a backpack on?

6:21am: Argh! School!

6:40am: Toast Make breakfast.

6:50am: Dictate Discuss lunch options. Realize that making a lunch that a) fits in a lunch box, b) can be eating cold, and c) will actually be eaten, is harder than it looks.

6:55am: Make note to self that one must think about lunch at least 12 hour in advance, in case one needs to make an emergency provisioning run.

7am: Throw random fruits and vegetables into small containers and threaten gently remind soon to be 1st grader that what goes to school in the lunch box must come back.

7:15am: Where is the backpack? It was right on the bench last night. Packed with all the required school supplies except the now “made” lunch.

7:29am: Find backpack stashed in linen closet. Scream at Remind soon to be Pre-K student that backpacks are now important school supplies, not toys to be used for imaginary camping trips.

7:30am: Console weeping soon to be Pre-K student and apologize for using the word “imaginary” in conjunction with the word “camping trip.” Of COURSE it is a real camping trip when one has hike up and down the stairs 14 times.

7:35am: Decide that if everyone is already upstairs, it is time to get dressed.

7:36am: Realize that no one has a blessed clue what the weather is going to be like. Assign soon to be 1st grader to watching the weather channel.

7:38am: Find soon to be 1st grader watching Magic School Bus instead of the weather. Scream Gently remind everyone that there is no TV on school mornings. Discuss why the weather channel is OK, but Magic School Bus is not.

7:45am: Remind soon to be 1st grader and soon to be Pre-K students that Crocs are not acceptable school footwear. Discuss WHY Crocs are not acceptable school footwear. End discussion with “Because your teacher said so.”

7:50am: Where ARE the newly purchased, school-approved, footwear items?

7:51am: Return to linen closet and find them tucked into guest towels. Make mental note to wash towels before any guests arrive.

7:53am: Tie one set of sneakers while lecturing soon to be 1st grade student on the importance of learning to tie shoes.

7:55am: Console soon to be Pre-K student and promise that the VERY NEXT PAIR of shoes she gets will have laces too.

8am: Frantically search house for new directions on where one can and can’t park at elementary school. Discover that the “usual” parking spot is now a “5-second” loading and unloading zone.

8:05am: Shepard soon to be 1st grader and soon to be Pre-K student out door.

8:06am: Look down and realize that yes, soon to be 1st grader is correct, and Mommy is still in pajamas.

8:07am: Shepard soon to be 1st grader and soon to be Pre-K student back into house. Quickly run upstairs, insert contacts, throw on running clothes. Because once both children are finally ensconced in their respective locations, it will be time to JOG!

8:17am: Shepard soon to be 1st grader and soon to be Pre-K student back out door.

8:25am: Realize that not only has the preferred parking spot become a 5-second loading/unloading zone, but that the preferred route is now comprised of one-way streets going the wrong direction.

8:30am: Finally find parking space nowhere near where soon to be 1st grader is supposed to line up. Drag soon to be 1st grader and soon to be Pre-K student out of car and race to the other side of the building.

8:34am: Located appropriate 1st grade line just in time to see the soon to be 1st grader’s new teacher walk out to collect her students.

8:35am: Marvel at how young said teacher is, and wonder if she is really old enough to be teaching. First bell rings.

8:36am: Newly-minted 1st grader stands stock still and watches the rest of his line enter the school through 1st grade door. Newly minted 1st grader’s teacher returns to take newly minted 1st grader by the hand.

8:37am: Newly-minted 1st grader’s teacher beckons to librarian for assistance, and newly minted first grade student finally agrees to enter building while clutching the librarian’s hand.

8:38am: Wipe tear from eye as newly-minted 1st grader finally disappears from view. Grab hand of soon to be Pre-K student and race back around the building to car.

8:51am: Arrive at soon to be Pre-K student’s school and discover all parking spaces are gone. Park illegally in reserved parking space.

8:53am: Marvel at the fact that soon to be Pre-K student’s teachers have not yet retired.

8:54am: Look around for soon to be Pre-K student and discover that she has already entered her classroom, found her name tag, picked a book, and sat down on the rug. Try to give newly-minted Pre-K student a hug and am given the hand. Shrug and quickly exit the room.

9:15am: Flop on couch and decide that tomorrow is another day.



  1. Sounds very familiar (especially the young teacher)! Monday will be better, I’m sure. We’ve had two days in which Sean ate just string cheese for lunch, so I can see that lunch will be our challenge this year, too.

  2. OMG! The no-Crocs rule caused tears here, too. As did the no-Magic-School-Bus before school rule.

    (Also? BB wore one of A’s old pairs of leggings to her first day of school. Well, they’re capris now. But they still fit. Sigh.)

  3. Well at least you got them there intact and on time.

  4. Yes, indeed, some of this does sound very familiar! Two things that worked well for us for lunch last year…. leftover cold pizza, and investing in a thermos in which to send warm food in! Hope that you get into a groove soon!

  5. What, no run? 🙂

    Our first day of “real” school is tomorrow, out the door at 8 am, carpool to/from (I am off the hook until Tuesday). Unfortunately we are still on the summer schedule of getting into bed at 8:30, looking at books until 9, and sleeping until….whenever.

    7:15 tomorrow morning is going to suck.

    Did you really leave the house in your PJs? I have come close, but usually don’t have a hat on with them so I realize before it happens. Usually I am the last one to be ready, though, so the kids are waiting by the door beating the crap out of each other while I find clothes, shoes, and hat.

  6. Thank goodness the bus works for us. (And it’s 15 minutes later this year, which means that more and more of the other families are showing up at the stop in the morning with their kids. It’s lovely. And only mildly embarrassing to be there in my Gap-loungewear PJs.)

  7. And when exactly was the jog? Was that between newly minted pre-K drop-off and flopping on couch?

    Congratulations. Day One done.

  8. You have single handedly made me fear the day that I have two school age children ;). We have preschool starting tomorrow and I am soooo not even close to being ready.

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