Random Bullets of Standardized Testing

  • C took his first standardized test yesterday.  In second grade.  I know.  There are so many things wrong with that statement.
  • His reaction after the fact? “I never knew that something so easy could take so long.”
  • My reaction (before and after the fact)?  Barely controlled panic rooted in SAT test anxiety.  I had to keep telling myself that if C didn’t do well on his first standardized test, it didn’t mean he wasn’t getting into college.
  • That didn’t keep me from spending the next 24 hours trying to get him to tell me something about the test beyond “I had a hard time not raising my hand to tell the teacher everything that was wrong with the questions.”
  • Apparently, one question asked what kinds of houses were found at the North Pole.  C’s response?  “The test was wrong.  Because the North Pole is an ice pack, not a land mass.  They must mean the South Pole.  But a research station wasn’t one of the answers.  So I went with igloo.”
  • I threw up my hands at that point.  Because really?  What kind of a question is that?

Overheard in the Kitchen

C: “Happy Birthday Mom!”

A: “Yeah, Happy Birthday!  How old are you, 78?”

C: “No A!  She’s 48!”

Chichimama: “My GOD, please don’t make this any worse than it needs to be!  I’m 29!”

C: “Really?  Cause Mrs. H is 29 and she seems a lot younger than you.”

Chichimama: “OK, fine.  I’m not 29.  But I’m not 48 either…”

C: “Oh, sorry, 47 then.”

Chichimama: “Clearly I need to start wearing sunscreen more often…”